Dating : Sleepover with no sex
I’ve (23 F) been seeing this guy (24 M) for about a month and we have been hanging out a lot. I’m not sure what he’s looking for yet or what he wants, we haven’t had the conversation yet, but I like him a lot. We have had sex a few times, and it was amazing every time. Last night he came over late after getting back from his weekend away with friends for the 4th of July. We just watched part of a movie, talked, kissed, cuddled, and went to sleep. No sex. I kind of expected that we might want to have sex, but he didn’t initiate anything, and when we kissed and stuff he didn’t take any opportunities, but was still very affectionate. He brought his clothes for work and headed off to work in the morning. Could this be a sign that he might want to be serious with me?
I have an idea how you find out… talk to him
Sounds comfortable with you and happy to spend time without the sex, good luck!
You need to talk to your man if you want to understand his intentions
It’s not a sign of anything. Sometimes we just enjoy the affection.
You didn’t make a move? And he obviously didn’t.
I think if you attempted to have sex wit you he wasn’t going to stop you.
It’s almost like…. He doesn’t have to have sex with you every time you say with eachother
It isn’t an indicator of anything. Sometimes a guy just doesn’t want sex but is happy to do other things.
Too hungover to fuck.
I had this exact type of relationship with a guy for the past two months. Sometimes we had sex, some times we just cuddled. I finally asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend and he freaked out and told me he’s not looking for a relationship. So… yeah, just ask him.
Sounds like he’s not just hanging out with you for sex which is a good sign, start talking to him about relationship potential.
Communication is key. Gotta ask him straight up
Don’t look for signs. Talk to him! Better to have the DTR talk before you get to invested if you aren’t on the same page.
You could ask. No one on Reddit knows. No one knows but him.
Gotta ask him
Well looking for a man who is mature even if we make a movie he keeps it between us
I personally don’t think sex or lack of sex should really have to convey intentions. Yes, talk to him about it, but he was still there and was intimate with you! If you look at it as a whole then it sounds pretty good.
It sounds like he doesn’t feel pressured to rush through things with you, and to have sex with you every time you see each other just for the hell of it. He seems to feel secure enough with you where he doesn’t have to worry about constant sex. He also may have just been tired or not in the mood, which happens ¯_(ツ)_/¯
If you want to know if he wants to be serious with you, ask.
This is so dumb.
Why didn’t *you* make a move?
I think its a good sign. My current boyfriend and I had sex on our first date. We were both really drunk but we had an amazing first date and I was horny and invited him back to my place to make out and one thing led to another. On a future date, I asked him if it was weird that we had sex on our first date and he said he normally doesn’t and will usually wait a while if he likes the woman he’s dating before trying to have sex to establish a relationship that isn’t just based off of sex. We don’t always have sex when we hang out now, although I usually try to initiate it but it’s not a big deal if we don’t. Maybe he doesn’t want you to think that all he wants from you is sex.
NO this actually doesn’t mean anything besides he was tired and went to sleep…No More,No Less..I have a high sex drive so not having sex, having sex doesn’t mean more than my mood at that moment
I think it’s a good sign, it’s just about sex.
> Could this be a sign that he might want to be serious with me?
No.
It’s a sign he either…
• …didn’t wanna have sex that night, or
• …wanted you to initiate.
For future reference, don’t act on assumptions of people’s motives over their actions. It’s a bad, *bad* habit and won’t bring you anything but trouble.
If you want to be serious with him, then have that conversation. If you don’t, then don’t. Simple stuff.
You’re not entitled to sex.
>I’m not sure what he’s looking for
Jeez! You’ve spent a month of your life dating this guy without first figuring out what he wants?! I ask this before even meeting up, and again after getting to know each other.
ASK HIM.
He is thinking of potential long term. He likes your company and wants to be with you.
I’m the same way as a guy. First night with this new girl, obviously wanted to cause she was beautiful and I was having a great time hanging out but dudes like to take it slow too. Nothing wrong with a steamy make out session, we like that stuff too haha. He probably likes you and didn’t want to be bad in bed and ruin things that’s was my thought process, and we did hookup the next time I was so nervous felt like I ruined the date, some people just like to feel comfortable before they have sex regardless of genders.
I would think so
Definitely seems more of a serious thing to me but he could also just have been to exhausted to try anything by the time you guys got round to it. Ask him if you really want to know
Maybe he was just tired? Hungover? Idk
Being a guy myself, two possibilities:
1. He was too tired to have sex.
2. Your relationship is getting serious to a point where he’s genuinely happy to just spend time with you.
The thing is, both are equally likely so nobody will be able to give you a definitive answer unfortunately.
What do you want, you can initiate it also.
Please OP, ignore half the crazy that is on here. Just ask the guy, start having conversations about what you want/what he wants, not saying you have to push the relationship, but you have had sex with him a few times, I am assuming you both have gone on dates together too…
Just talk to the guy.
Crazy. I’m twice that age and still go for it at least once or twice no matter how tired I am. Men don’t all have the same sex drive though.
As others have mentioned, the answer is what you already know, but don’t want to hear: you need to talk to him to find out for sure.
There is absolutely nothing we can deduce concretely from this scenario, e.g. maybe he had a tummy ache and didnt want to have sex.
I wish you the best of luck.
You can make the move too ya know. You’re on reddit posting about how he didn’t make a move but you didn’t either.
If you want something serious you dont have to run to have sex but since you already did you need to have a conversation with him on what he wants and what you want as well.
He didn’t start it?
U could have my friend!
And also why not express it? Communicate Folks!!!
He’s interested in you and you alone. He still wants to have sex but he can still have an equally good amount of time without the sex .
I think he was testing you to see if you would give him top.
I’m not saying it’s a sign that he wants something serious, but if you want something serious I will say it is a positive sign.
Try not to invent problems where none exist.
I guess my other question then is…when is the best time to ask what he wants and how he feels about me? Will I seem too eager or clingy asking after a month? I don’t want to scare him away.
It should not exclusively be the man’s job to initiate sex.
Why not just ask him instead of people who don’t know him or the situation well?
Sometimes people enjoy intimate acts that aren’t sexual at all. He probably just had a long weekend and wanted to relax.
If you wanna be exclusive with him, ask him. Only way to find out. You read his intentions as you want no matter what they might be, but that won’t help you afterall. Good luck!