Dating : The girl I’m dating wants to get her family involved in the relationship…
How do I put this… Well, I’m dating my ex again, we broke up for the same reasons but we are together again because I really really like her, she’s cute and smart and we get along really well.
The real problem here is that she comes from a conservative family and she basically likes to be like that and I’m more of a liberal guy who wants to enjoy life at the fullest.
She wants me to pick her up at her house every time we go out, but the problem is that I don’t have a car and I moved to a place that’s 1 hour from her, so I’d have to take a taxi and spend money back and forth just to take her out. She’s 23 years old, I mean 23! and her family doesn’t let her leave home if I don’t pick her up, this is very stupid to me! They treat her as if she was at school, and the worst thing is that she obeys them and don’t complain.
Her mother’s reason is that she wants to « prove » I’m the right one and that I really won’t play with her daughter. They are so strict that I’m the only boyfriend she’s had in her life (I actually like this anyway). I mean, I like her, I want to give this a try again, but I don’t want her family to control her anymore, it’s her decision to be with me and not theirs.
I just want them to let us be… and especially I want her to stop obeying them 🙁
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Dude I don’t know if you’re my long lost twin or anything, but I went through the EXACT SAME situation when I was 19. Run. Seriously.
I know, you probably haven’t considered marriage. But if a couple marries it’s always actually two families that marry each other. The couple just happens to be in the middle.
At least a few conservatives like to think that way (me included). I’d take the mother by her word.
I mean… if you were the one that broke things off and reinitiated, they might think you’re just there because nothing better came up and you’re biding your time. You might see it as inconsiderate to you, but they see it as protecting their daughter, especially if you’re as different from them ideologically as you make it out to be. As sad as it is, there’s enough us vs them mentality going around now that they might not think you’re good for her just because of that.
If you really want to be with her, you’ll figure it out. If not, well, you’ll figure that out as well.
That seems a little restrictive. I come from a bit of a conservative family myself but they’re not that intrusive. It’s not her family dating you, she is. Family usually gets involved after marriage or when things get more serious. I’d say make your intentions clear about dating her and family involvement, communicate with her about it.
If you want to change yourself to this conservative form and appease your parents go right ahead, but it’s pretty sad.
She’s got to be the one to challenge her parents and embrace 21st century dating. If she doesn’t then (if I were you) you two wouldn’t be compatible.