Dating : They know what they are doing!
A lot of times I see people (mostly guys) complaining that they matched with someone on a dating app. They chatted for a couple of days and then all of a sudden there is no response from the other side since 3 days.
The usual response to this kind of post is a plain lie – *They must be busy. wait!. Don’t act desperate*.
The truth is that nobody is that busy. People know what they are doing when they don’t respond for 2-3 days. Unless there is a serious medical emergency, I don’t buy the *- they must be busy* crap.
They would have weighed the consequences of every action they take – *like ghosting, responding once every 3 days, cancelling dates at the last minute without proposing a new date* – all of these are analyzed before they are done.So don’t assume that the other party doesn’t know what they are doing. They know what they are doing and are fine with the consequences..
So, the next time the person you want to date acts like they are too busy, move away. You don’t deserve to be treated like an expendable item.
Lol people wonder why the divorce rate is so high and why more and more people aren’t getting married/forming healthy relationships, yet they also don’t want to acknowledge that there is a fundamental flaw in the way we communicate with each other.
People can preach all they want about talking to 50
people and keeping options open. It still makes it harder to finally form a proper connection. People nowadays just hop on dating apps for validation, receive the dopamine from getting matches or whatever, and then hop off until they need another pick me up when they’re bored.
Hell, I’ve had three people last week say “lets grab drinks sometime” and when I asked for availability just straight up no response. I’m pretty callous to OLD at this point so it doesn’t bother me anymore, but its also concerning because I don’t really care about whether I form a relationship anymore since i turned off my ability to emotionally invest in others just so i dont get hurt. But hey, now that im talking to multiple people at once, im clearly doing something right in society’s eyes, right?
I dunno. I’m a dude and sometimes I don’t have the mental energy to spend on writing messages to someone. Yes, relationships in the very early stages are replaceable. That doesn’t mean I’m not still interested, it just means finding someone to date isn’t the absolute #1 priority in my life.
No one’s saying that someone literally doesn’t have 2 minutes to send a text over a three day period. It’s more that someone might (for a variety of reasons!) take a break from a dating app for a few days.
If that bothers you then you’re totally welcome to move on. But I think lots of us recognise that people just aren’t always in the mood to flirt with strangers and don’t take it personally.
Some people need a break from stuff like those and they don’t really owe anyone an explanation, especially to someone they’ve only been talking to for a few days. I understand the frustration but after a while I realized it was silly to expect someone who I have never met to respond to me daily. Sometimes I don’t even respond to my friends through texts few days or a week depending on how busy I am and how much alone time I want. Let the person be, if they end up getting back to you after that they will most likely let you know, if not then yes it is a bummer but don’t get too caught up with the idea you have built about them in your head already despite knowing about them for only a few days.
Wow, a lot of people overthinking it. The gist is, it takes less than a minute to send a message. You don’t have to write a novella, a simple « Hey, sorry but I’m not feeling it » is the least you can do. Even John Wick in #3 could have found time for that.
Who is chatting for days on an app? What a waste of time. Make a move and ask them out jeez
Go to therapy if you have this much anxiety about not talking to some you’ve never met. Get your self together and stop looking for validation from someone else. People can not talk for a day or two and still be interested in each other.
***If someone believes you are worth the effort they will make the effort.***
Oftentimes when it comes to meeting someone online remember there is competition 24/7 and some people have a FOMO (fear of missing out) complex.
If they have a date scheduled with you and someone who they find very attractive asks to meet with them they may cancel on you at the last minute or *ghost* you.
Your best defense is to engage with and date multiple people if you’re *not* in an exclusive relationship with anyone. This should keep you from becoming too *emotionally invested* in someone you barely know. Allow people to *earn* your trust overtime by observing their actions.
Ultimately being *ghosted* is just another form of rejection. They didn’t see *you* as being « the one ».
Thankfully most *ghosting* takes place within the first 8-12 weeks and not after investing years.
In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!
Best wishes!
I would say, more to the point, someone you are chatting with on an app owes you nothing. It has nothing to do with you being expendable and everything to do with them not even really knowing you.
I was texting with a man. It suddenly stopped despite things going well. I sent one more message and left it. Is he a jerk? Nope. Just not that into me. He owes me nothing. Out of the blue sent me info on his company that just launched. I sent him a congratulations.
Done. No big deal.
agreeeeee. This goes for actual dating too…
I was just created a post in this subreddit about getting reply like 3-14 days after. This is exactly what I had in my mind. They know what they are doing.
They also have less compassion towards others because they know it doesnt feel good getting replied 3-14 days after you replied so why did they do it unto others, right?
Put it simply, nobody likes to be treated like worthless option. So don’t do it to others.
Maybe, just maybe, some of you are actually too busy and dont prioritise finding a partner but think about othr people’s feelings.
They might not feel good being treated this way. So if you are not too keen on finding a partner, maybe just do what you are focusing on right now and do online dating later on when you finally have the time. Thats all im saying
Sometimes people are struggling with mental illness like depression. I normally am pretty enthusiastic about talking to people but if I’m in an episode you’re not getting talked to. It’s not calculated it’s just I don’t have the energy and I’m probably sleeping
One of my dates that I met on Tinder (we exchanged contacts), told me that I needed to get into a queue to land a date with her. Unmatched immediately.
Yet I am extremely busy and want to sit down and have a good block of time to dedicate to messaging.
I think this is a bunch of bullshit. People are busy and shit does randomly come up. And doing self care is part of being busy. Taking care of mental/emotional and physical health should be more important. You are more important than any potential date. And you can’t say you know every minute of your schedule everyday. And you can’t say you’ll know how it effects you. I babysit a two year old most days, as much as I want to talk to people my priority is to watch a toddler and when that’s finally done I need to take care of me. Call it selfish but I need to make it through everyday and talking to someone on a dating app isn’t part of what gets me through it. I think there can be consequences if you can’t maintain regular conversation but that’s just the risk you take. When I realized I was too busy I removed myself from OLD, but before that point I wasn’t wrong for being genuinely busy. It just wasn’t conducive to making good connection. So hopefully others realize their own busy lives and make a decision, focus on one or the other. But people are busy. Their lives do not revolve around potential others.
I run two businesses, I train mma 5 nights a week, I have friends and meetings throughout the week. Yeah, I’m that busy. I’m not checking my messages on a dating app during the workday because you happen to have nothing else going on in your life while on your lunchbreak at walmart…..
Dating app is for hookup. Its a numbers game. So everyone there is the “same”. How can u be disappointed or mad, if theres plenty of fish there. I assume u don’t text and talk just with “one”..