Dating : This is the good kind of vent. I’m just tired of being upset about dating and relationships.
I vented on here last night about my lack of experience dating and intimacy at my age (23M) which is honestly super weird and rare. After it I cried myself to sleep, I haven’t cried in years. I cried till I couldn’t cry anymore. I’m just tired. I don’t care that I’m 5’6 or that I’m obese or honestly that I’m not suave and have a ton of confidence. I can’t help my height, I’m working hard on lifting and diet and I’ve actually dropped 12 pounds this month. As for the Confidence and approaching women I’m taking baby steps but it’s helping. So what if I haven’t been on a date or had sex? I know internally I’m a good person who’s willing to work with a partner if given a chance. I’ve always worked from the bottom in everything I’ve done and have made it to the top. I might be behind others but I’ll get there. 0 confidence rn but I’ll get it, I’m just tired of being brought down by the world. If you listened I owe you a cookie.
Having zero experience at 23 isn’t super weird or rare it’s actually very common. The first thing you should know is that no one… and I mean no one cares that you are a good person. They wouldn’t care either if you are a bad person. Until you are a part of their lives it doesn’t matter. You don’t care about that kid who is starving to death in a third world country and they don’t care about you. Just facts.
I have a good friend who was 300+ lbs super nerd in HS. Never even kissed a girl. He did the same thing you are doing right now. Going to the gym, eating right, and now has been in a relationship with a HOT and I mean hot girl for the past few years. So keep it up.
You have to create those chances for a girl to like you. They aren’t just going to give it to you. Harsh but true. Watch some David Goggins. Inspire yourself some days, feel ashamed others, but keep pushing. It only has to work once.
Get me a cookie then and keep up the good work you’re doing on yourself!
As you get older, what you are given (your body etc) matters less, and what you do with it (your confidence, your demeanor, etcetc) matters more.
Plus the older you get the more time that is for your new gym gainz to show.
Women in their late 20s, in my experience, see a man truly working on himself and SWOON.
Your time will come king, I’m sure of it. Keep your head down and keep working brother
Yeah I’ve been beating myself up over it but I’m like fuck it. I noticed I’m miserable when I try to go out of my way to find someone but I’m happy when I just say “oh well” and enjoy being single. I have a car I’ve wanted since I was a kid (a WRX, 2018), I’m good enough at guitar to play Dire Straits and John Mayer songs, I have a lot of friends, family that loves me, a good job with coworkers I like and who like me, etc. And not to brag but I’m shredded. My coworkers are always like “man what the hell do you juice?” Also moving into an apartment in August.
I’m like man whatever. I just get bummed out because I know women want guys with “experience,” and I know the longer I wait the less attractive my inexperience gets. But I guess I can just try to fake it there once I feel like I’m “ready.”
keep it up my king
you can do it!!!
Honestly. I’m a 22 year old woman and I fall so much harder for men working on themselves and being conscious about it, than men that are just good-looking but with no real personality whatsoever. I also don’t give a flying eff about experience. Doesn’t have to mean anything. Keep doing what you’re doing. Make yourself proud, and love will follow! ❤️
It’s hard. But if you give up, you’ll lose, and if never give up, you’ll win.
Remember it is a competition. The biggest competition of any hetero mans life is competing against other men for wealth and women. Your father, grand father, greatbl grandfather and all the way stretching back to cave dwelling times had the same struggles yet none of them surrendered and eventually, after unknowable trials, they all achieved victory (otherwise you’d never been born.)
At your age, the competition is different. Most women that age are mostly looking for looks and social status (popularity.)
Over the next decade that those will less in importance a bit, while Money will become the primary item mates will be looking for.
What to improve your dating prospects massively? Focus on developing your job skills, career and income potential. If you work hard and achieve that in a few years, then you’ll have waaaaayyy better chances at dating success, and it’s much more straightforward increasing your income than it is your physical attractiveness or social status .