Dating : What to do in this situation?
Before you judge me: I am(35F) in 14 year relationship with a man(35M), but it’s literally terminal. He’s a high functioning alcoholic and very emotionally abusive person.
In the past 1.5-2 years I went through a lot of transformation and finally got to understand that this relationship is no good for me. I have a feeling that sooner than later it will be over. So that’s for the start.
But there is someone in my life who always gave me sort of a feeling that he is pretty much into me. I just don’t know how to figure out for sure. I adore this guy with all my heart but we never got very close. Years ago we have worked together, then I changed the jobs and the contact was terminated. After 3 years we met at a cocert and it sort of hit me.
I know he follows me closely on social media. Some time ago he for example I realised he remembers pretty much everything I post on Facebook and I make a post maybe like once a week. All the events I go to etc. He doesn’t follow me on Instagram but he is watching my stories. And so on. When we see each other at concerts we talk and the way he looks at me makes my heart sink. Sometimes I say hello on messenger and then we chat but he never says hello first.
Given the situation I am in (in relationship) I cannot start anything else right now and I am also not ready. I kind of realized he probably doesn’t want to be « just friends » but at the same time this is what I need to develop any sort of romantic feelings later.
So what do I do?
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Break it off with the abusive guy and get some headspace. Don’t just jump into the other relationship because long term relationship aren’t easy to break off it takes a lot of time your memories to go away they’ll never actually go away because the person you were with might not be a good person now. But you’ll need time to recover from all that and ik the new romantic entanglement looks like a good thing to jump into but if you do that there is a good chance that you will fuck it up or one of you will. Take your time(at least 2-3 months) and decide what you want to do with your time. Because remember you don’t have a lot of years to find someone to settle down with. You just have to find someone who is bearable and live the rest of your life being happy or at least trying to be so.
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