Dating : Where to start… I’m balding and I’m losing confidence in regards to dating… not that I had much to begin with maybe
I (m30) am not the most avid dater, I started online dating last fall (tinder) and started getting a good amount of matches and gone on a number of dates since then. I’m sadly barely experienced in relationships/sex and so I wanted to take the plunge and make an effort in meeting women and so it feels like online dating has opened a door for me, since I’m usually somewhat introverted/shy. Now I wish I started sooner.
Looks-wise I’d say I’m somewhere above average but not a 10 either, and I think I’ve got pretty good pictures of myself on the app, which definitely helped me get matches/dates. Thing is these are like 3-4 years old now and I more or less look the same now, maybe slightly older.
And I feel like the last year and a half my hair has been thinning, slowly but surely, and for me at least it’s becoming noticeable. Its tearing my confidence and makes me feel down bc its something I care about, not that I had an amazing set of hair to begin with but because I considered it to be a part of my looks/style…
What sucks is I never had much luck with girls and now that I ’discovered’ online dating and its going somewhat ok, i feel my ’looks’ are fading. And I know looks isn’t all but to me it mattered, since I’m not great on the confidence front. Would love to hear thoughts on this! And how I should proceed. I feel like I would lose any appeal that I had, and I assume a majority of women prefer non-bald men… tinder is kinda superficial I guess, it would be harder to get dates/matches?
And also please can someone explain the looks vs condifence thing to me, i want to get a better understanding of this.
Also for the record, eventually I think I’ll have to start shaving my head and update my pictures and so on :/
Any advice in regard to my situation is hugely appreciated, like about inexperience/looks/balding/confidence 🙂
Thanks in advance !! And sorry for any typos!
If you can make them laugh you’ll be fine.
Shave your head bro!
Depends on how bad you’re losing your hair and where. If it’s not that bad you can style it. If it’s noticeably bad best to shave it.
If you are worried about what ppl think, then you have failed before you started. In fact, go strong and shave every other day. God put hair on ugly heads. LoL
Shave it clean and hold your head high.
You can take steps now to save/fix your hair. I know how you feel, I had the same thing happen, it really impacts confidence. Get a finisteide prescription and start rogaine.
Having hair is more attractive than not having hair, so it is understandable that balding is causing you concerns
» can someone explain the looks vs condifence thing to me »
I’ll give an example. Let’s say you do 100 job interviews and you get 20 calls back [Scenario A]. 10 years later, you’re back looking for jobs, but you have an accident and lose a limb. You do 100 job interviews and you get 2 calls back [Scenario B].
Comparing Scenario A and B, you will feel less confident doing your 101st interview in B compared to A because you had better results in A.
As you can see, confidence is something that is acquired from past experiences. You can’t convince yourself to be more confident
Relating this back to balding, in the above scenario, replace ‘limb’ with hair and ‘job interviews’ with dates. The less attractive you look, the less confident you’ll be
Let me know if you have more questions
You can get a wig!
You can either go the pharmaceutical route to try to preserve what you have or cut it short/buzz it. I had a pretty noticeably receding hairline that was causing me much anxiety. I’d always worn my hair short anyway so I buzzed it off one day and the weight was immediately lifted off my shoulders. But I’ve been told I have a good skull shape for it, who knows. I will say that my OLD interest has jumped dramatically compared to when I was balding. However, I can pull off that shaved/beard/muscles look and I’m a decade older than you, so it may be that women my age are much more accepting of bald heads. I get almost zero likes from any women under about 35.
Women generally prefer a full head of hair over shaved, but some love a shaved head. None are really into that balding middle ground. Especially women around your age. I’d try buzzing it off, if you don’t like the look it’ll grow back in a month or two. Then you’ll have a better idea if you want to go the finasteride path.
Check out BaldCafe, it’s a YouTube channel geared towards uplifting men’s self esteem and provide guidance if you’re thinking about shaving it all off. Best of luck to you, OP
I just want to say that, as a man, you’re allowed to be superficial and get into skincare or get a hair piece or transplant. Shaving it and rocking the bald head or getting help is 100% your choice and one doesn’t make you better or more manly than the other.
I use hair pieces just for fun (I’ve always had thin hair) and I take care of my skin. I enjoy a certain look and I like not looking old. I’m really open about everything too and I haven’t heard anything negative from people I know. I’ve actually had a lot of men DM me asking about what I use/do etc.
I love bald men! Can you grow a beard? That helps!
I think you’ll find plenty of women who date bald men and some who prefer them.
I started balding at 21 and shaved my head for the first time at 22. I used to be very insecure about it but now it’s kind of a part of who I am. Just be confident about it if you’re able. I like to go with self deprecating humor and roast my self about it. Gets people to laugh which then turns this negative image of it in my head into something positive.
Rice water pour in ur hair 3x a week keep for half day then wash next day. Keep doing this to your hair won’t be terrible when u get older
I have been on these dating apps for like more than 3 years with a number of matches, yet no dates. I have good pictures on those apps and I am balding a little from the back side of my head. Usually those apps give extreme privilege to women and make men feel worthless and disposable. That is why I no longer use them.
Regarding confidence I will tell you to fake it till you make it as it is not obvious to people you meet the first time as much as you think. For the inexperience as long as you are not invested emotionally more than the girl you are dating you should be fine and as a guy you are expected to initiate the physical part of the dating process and doing the talking.