Dating : « You aren’t enough and can’t be » (M 25 )

Dating : « You aren’t enough and can’t be » (M 25 )

This post is about one of my ‘friends » who I really liked.

to begin with, a Lady and I started speaking about two months ago. We were both rather down about ourselves and for a long while we were trying to make each other feel better. Her sadness was from a recent loss, while mine is from a lifelong burden amongst a few other things.

It grew quickly, what was between us, and because of some of the things she said to me, I started to believe that she liked me. She already knew my thoughts about her, but I told her it directly.

I was surprised when she said some of the things that she did to me; She calls me hot, says that she likes me and is interested, and she even went so far as to say that she’d have sex with me. (& Said some stuff about wishing how I was a professor so that she could stare at me in class and do stuff afterwards haha)

There were so many features that she liked about me & This all made me feel the best that I ever had in my life really, it hasn’t been all that kind of one.

But, quite suddenly, my joy died after a certain day. One day she was upset, she wasn’t really talking, and everything she spoke about was about some other guy that, from what I gathered, lead her on for 5 years just to want nothing to do with her.

It was like this for the whole day, and it hurt to hear her miss another so much, and hearing about her love for another made that already bad day a sad one for me. Just before the day became night though she asks if we can « Just be friends »

I had hopes for more, but even though she hurt me I still care/cared for her, and I didn’t want her out of my life. She helped me through a time where I couldn’t see anything good and I didn’t want to just depart because of the pain she gave me

—

about a month after when she wished if we could just be friends, today, I brought up that day that injured me, saying that I forgive her and that it all is okay. A few times I said that to her, I wanted her to know my thoughts.

However, she didn’t remember what was said. She didn’t remember the promises she gave me. She didn’t even remember wanting to be just my friend. the only thing she remembered was how she wants me to see her as « someone I can talk to ». That’s it.

So from romantic interest, to friends, and to someone to talk to, that’s how this relationship went. & I’m wondering where I went wrong, as with what I did wrong.

It’s not done yet though, my story.

Today, now she says something entirely different. I quote her with this

« Honestly I’m attracted to something very different from you and the features that I find sexy or attractive or gorgeous are very different from yours. »

…

TL;DR

A friend said to me, in a way, that I’m not enough and could never be. This came from someone who told me that they liked me, that they want to have sex with me, and someone who I viewed as my best friend.

I never thought that I’d hear what she told me and I never thought that it would be from someone I really like and who supposedly likes me too.

Not even the people who like me actually like me, so how can I be seen as a person to people and not something to mess around with?

& Anything that can help me right now would be nice, seriously please, I’ve had a lot of things happen in my life and this one is really hurting me.

You know, there’s so many nice things I’ve said and have tried to do for her, I guess it makes sense why she never tried to do the same.

&I guess I now know why she said she likes men that’re Tall, Dark & Handsome (I don’t think I’ve met or heard of a woman that doesn’t opt for that though…)

Advice on how I could be enough for people would be amazing, and advice on how to not have people tell me that they are attracted to me and would like to have sex with me just to also tell me that I’m not what they like in the slightest would be really, really nice.

(I guess what’s hurting me most, aside from the lies, is how everything meant absolutely nothing and how I would have been better off not caring for her. Isn’t it bad when you can say that not caring is the good choice?)