Dating : You don’t have to fuck someone over to fuck them.
When sex started to break away from its taboo, it was the 70’s. Free love was on a rampage. But free love was exactly that. Love and respect and experimentation outside of the confines of a serious relationship. Birth control, abortions, and penicillins are all wonderful things that have begun to remove the stigma associated with premarital sex in our culture… but sometimes I wish we’d bring a little of that back. Or at least pretend that we’re not animals. Let me explain. Hookup culture is not free love. It’s the new wave of the century and hookup culture involves not only fucking, but fucking people over. Both sides withhold love and respect and the first person to ghost the other is the winner. The person who withholds the most is the winner. They’re “strong”. “Untouchable” And “un-phased”. But why are those positive attributes when it comes to such a vulnerable activity such as sex? You’re literally exposing yourself and some of the time opening yourself up to the potential of disease if a condom breaks. And most of the time when it comes to hook up culture, you’re engaging in this vulnerable activity with someone that doesn’t even respect you or your emotions. My point is that you don’t have to want to marry someone or even be dating to still have a mutual respect for each other. You don’t need to be exclusive. You don’t need be afraid of “catching feelings”. You just need to be communicative and respect each other. In my opinion sex should never be engaged in between parties that have no respect for each other. Sex outside of the confines of a relationship should be free love. You can still have a hookup buddy and not treat them as if they’re not human. You can still be upfront with your intentions. No need to lie, deceive, disregard and disrespect. Go have sex. But do it for the experience. People are not a tally mark for your body count list.
I agree with this so whole heartedly. My friend said it to me the other day “Modern dating is a race to see who can hurt each other the fastest.” Feelings and vulnerability are seen as icky and weak. I think this trend is slowly changing since it’s now more common for people to be more transparent about their mental health struggles. Vulnerability is slowing becoming more “in” you know what I mean?
Beautiful
*unfazed. I agree, though. The idea of « catching feelings » as bad makes no sense to me. That’s exactly why I am dating, to catch feelings.
>When sex started to break away from its taboo, it was the 70’s. Free love was on a rampage.
That’s not what free love was and is about. Historically free sex came before and now it’s more free love than free sex. Free love is not adhering to traditional social norms about love and sex. Today’s « hookup culture » is still that. Your only argument why it’s not free love is, that people get fucked over, by withholding love and respect. Removing love as necessary for having sex is exactly such a traditional social norm, that free love tries to leave behind. Respect has nothing to do with any of that and also your definition of « respecting » someone is closer to « behaving to traditional social norms » than you actually respecting the other person’s wish to not contact you again after you had sex.
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>You can still be upfront with your intentions.
Nope, you can’t. The vast majority of women won’t have sex with you, if you openly state you just want sex. They are open to that though, as long as they can keep up the image to themselves of a woman who doesn’t fuck around Society still struggles to leave behind traditional social norms and completely free women who openly enjoy casual sex are very rare.
>Or at least pretend that we’re not animals.
We are doing just that by faking a situation that could develop into a loving relationship. It’s a collective illusion to hide the fact that we just want to fuck like animals.
>You can still have a hookup buddy and not treat them as if they’re not human.
Nobody is treating anyone like they are not human. Ghosting someone after you had sex is perfectly fine human to human behavior. The goal is achieved, there is no other benefit to have from the interaction. If, after the sex happened, you want more from the other person than they want from you, that’s a mismatch where YOU are the problem.
You don’t expect the yoga teacher to stay in contact with you for your emotional needs after the class is over. You still haven’t disconnected sex from love, and what is traditionally expected to happen when two people engage in physical intimacy.
Amen
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