Dating : I always get caught off guard when I get attention from a skinny or fit guy
Whenever I get attention from a cute guy who is skinny or fit. I am always shocked because I don’t view myself as the most attractive person and I’m sooo out of shape. I’m 165-170 Ibs and 5’8.
Like what the hell do they see in me? I get everyone has their preferences despite their own body type but I still have a hard time believing it. I’m overweight so how am I « entitled » (for lack of a better word) or deserving of time with a fit/skinny guy? It feels one-sided.
I could use it as motivation to get in shape myself. But doing it for other people never works out well in the end.
So yeah, trying to figure out if I’m in the twilight zone lol
why are you thinking that way? they see something in you. dont try to analyze. maybe you just ask and they will answer? enjoy it… no one « deserves » anything datingwise… people vibe or they dont vibe.
you are beating yourself down… over something good… dont overanalyze. you cant analyze life… while living it at the same time.
I know men have individual preferences, but it’s so hard to accept when you don’t really fit into beauty standards.
I totally understand how you feel. I remember a classmate in university who used to check me out often. At the time, I really wanted to ask, « what the hell are you looking at » because I honestly don’t see anything about myself that’s attractive. It has been 2 years since I last saw him and I wish I could ask because it’s a huge mystery to me.
I am a guy that has been overweight my whole life, though right now am finally close to not being that way, and the other day a woman complemented my eyes and I didn’t know how to handle it. I just assumed she was being nice because I have literally never been complimented on my anything related to appearance (I am 32)
Often it can be having a good face and endearing personality. I say this as someone who routinely grimaces at the overweight as much as they my Jack Skellington ass, but last person I dated was literally 1.5 times my weight and I’d happily have let her smash me to smithereens, why? Because she was pleasant to be around and put the second B in BBW.
The problem here is that you are struggling to accept the concept of autonomy. People are free to act, like and choose what they want for whatever reason.
You don’t get to decide what it is about you that people may or not like.
I’m the same height and weigh more and know I’m still pretty and work out a lot. Reading your post makes me think I should be judging myself more. My boyfriend is extremely fit and we spend plenty of time doing fitness activities together.
Honestly depending on body comp I feel like 165 could look pretty good for 5’8 and you’re bringing yourself down. I’m 5’6 and all my dating life I got attention from skinny/fit guys, and my adult weight has ranged from 150s to 180s. It definitely helps that I have a good face. In my 160s I was actually kinda poppin lmao mostly bc I lifted weights so body comp would be pretty diff from someone who didnt eat well/exercise. I know it’s considered a heavier weight, but honestly some people just think if you’re attractive, you’re attractive. I’ve been told that since I’m beautiful then everything about me (my face + body) is beautiful. Which is hard to believe and sounds oversimplified but some people really think that way. Skinny guys are insecure about being too skinny, even fit guys are insecure about not being jacked enough, and I really never care all that much about their body type bc I’m just simply attracted to them. So just goes to show we’re all in our heads thinking about ourselves
ETA: also want to say that skinny/fit doesn’t automatically mean hot or out of your league. I fully believe that you could be the more attractive one if you’re slightly overweight with a pretty face dating a skinny guy with an average face
Please ensure they’re just not trying to use you for sex (unless you want it too, but be careful). Some men lower standards for sex versus serious relationships. They’ll say nice things about your appearance (guys friends have confirmed this) just to butter you up as an option.
When they want to meet a girl to seriously date, their standards for looks, background, values, and others things widely vary from what they hit on or hit up for a quick dopamine hit/orgasm or ego boost.
My advice: Don’t ever share your insecurity or question of why they’re attracted to you with them. They can smell low confidence and will use it to manipulate you.
My realer advice: These men are users and will fuck multiple women of all types. Ask about their most recent STD testing, always use condoms, know they lie to women, many share/discuss pics of women in their male group chat, etc.
I like women that look healthy, lol. The funny thing is is we view the world from our own eyes so those types of thoughts you have about how other people see you are biased. The reality is is you have no idea what other people are thinking or are into. Best thing to do is go with the flow and enjoy life without trying to over analyze etherything. I struggle with this constantly.
The thing that is confusing to me is why you view skinny/fit people as somehow superior to those who are overweight.
Do you have large breasts and butt? I’m trying to get fit and cut, but I like voluptuous and chubby girls anyway, so maybe it’s that?
For every body type there is someone out there who is into it, even if that person is not that type themselves.
And at 170 and 5-8 you’re hardly obese… sounds like a nice healthy weight to me.
Men who approach overweight or less attractive women expect an easy time. They likely see you as an easy lay and if you proved to not be easy they would leave because you’re not worth the effort they could put into hotter women. These men probably see you as a convenient option.
Men will do anything. Those guys that sleep with the skinny and pretty model girls also want to fuck you later the same day.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/83-year-old-tinder-dating_l_5e42ec5cc5b6b70887086e62
What matters is if he will invest resources in to you. Buying you stuff etc. Without any sex involved.
Not saying this applies to your situation, but some guys really just trying to get a nut off
An extra 2 to 7 lbs isn’t much to be consider overweight. The average weight is 125 to 163lbs
I feel you 🙁 always get complimented by only girls but never once by a guy so it’s sorta like you’re capping (have a hard time believing it) lol just feel like I’m not worthy to many other guys cause of my weight. Randos obv text and are like you’re cute but they’ve only seen my face and I just know when they see me fully they’ll probably be like laterss