Dating : Should I drop him as a “friend”? He’s backtracking after rejection.
I’m feeling a bit mindf*cked today, but the blame is on both sides here tbh.
Soo, I recently got back in contact with an old friend after literally 10 years. We’ve never met, but we live in the same city and we once exchanged “pics” when we were like 16 and we’ve always been quite flirty.
Off the bat, things were flirty again and he told me how I’ve always been beautiful and I Iightly flirted back. I’m a single mother to a toddler after my son’s dad got a traumatic brain injury which resulted in a personality change and safeguarding issues after I was pregnant, but that’s another story. I understand kids aren’t for everyone when it comes to dating and that’s partially why I’m not bothered about finding someone else atm.
He asked me out for a drink after asking if I was single, and I politely declined saying he’s handsome but it feels too soon and I have my hands full with a toddler and I wasn’t intending to date again, at least for a while. Straight away, he became defensive saying that it’s a shame I said no, and that just because he asked me out for a drink doesn’t mean it’s a date or that he wants anything lol. So I thought, that settles it and I’ll never hear from him again and I can just get on with my day.
Anyway, every day since he’s been getting into conversations with me and lightly (now) flirting here and there and tonight he asked me out for a drink again as “friends” saying he think we’d be amazing friends and that OBVIOUSLY there’s no sexual attraction whatsoever.
Here’s the interesting thing though, I’ve found myself changing my mind and seeing him as relationship potential, but I feel this situation is too much of a mindf*ck that I’m wanting to drop him completely.
Is this a date in disguise, or do men really go out for drinks alone with a “friend” after situations like this? My last relationship lasted 8 years and I’ve honestly never really dated or gone out for drinks with male friends not in a group.
Guys do hang out as friends. But not this one. I think you’d be better off with someone who is mature enough to not act so defensive when you say no. He seems less interested in friendship and more into getting laid. Which is fine if you are on board with it. But I’d vote you find someone better.
Could be date in disguise… could be actually as friends.
Shocker I know, but yes… I and other guys do invite girls out solo as friends. Even ones we’ve dated or who wanted to date us recently. Totally depends on the guy’s background and maturity.
For instance- I’m from a very small, isolated town. Even though i’m now in the city, I still have the habit of keeping people in my life on friendly terms. Mainly because in a town of <1000 with no one else around, you stayed on good terms with everybody… because you were going to see them again *a lot*. You couldn’t piss off the only 40-some people near your age if you wanted a happy life.
Guys don’t ask women out as friends. I mean maybe once a friendship with boundaries has been established, but not in the manner you’re describing. But I’m not sure he’s playing with you either. Again, 100% chance he was asking you out on a date. And that’s perfectly okay, for the record. So was your response. But now he’s going into « protect mode, » so that it doesn’t appear he was asking you out on a date. He’s trying to play it off as just hanging out, so he doesn’t feel rejection. And honestly, while it’s a lie, that’s okay also. It’s kind of a victimless crime. But 100% chance he was asking you out on a date.