Dating : I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! (F, 25)
I’m keen to meet men but I just never get approached. I’m studying neuroscience in university, I’m tall, blode, thin, blue eyed, I’ve got a job, I don’t have terrible dress sense, people say I’m funny, and I’m athletic. Despite all this (things the media has told me my whole life is what is desirable) I’m never approached by men, and if I am they have strong deficiencies in their personality (i.e. mental health issues, no job, or are stalkery). I’ve been to bars dressed to impress (but in a classy way) and i’ve never been danced with or had a drink bought for me, which seems to be how we measure the successfulness of a night out. I’m not even approached on dating apps all that much, and when I do meet interesting people they ghost. I’m trying not to let it damage my self esteem but it’s getting frustrating. I’m admittedly not very cool and kinda dorky, I’m more interested in dinosaurs and rocks than the Toronto Raptors and drinking flat whites (or whatever the kids are int0 these days). What am I doing wrong? Is there something I’m missing?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/chadfish/](https://www.reddit.com/r/chadfish/)
I have to wonder if maybe you’re not flirting enough?
There’s nothing wrong at all with the way you look, so I don’t think dying your hair is the answer. I live near Toronto as well, and there are lots of chill places to meet people in a relaxed environment, so I’m very surprised to hear that other guys aren’t receptive to your advances.
My best advice would be to keep approaching guys, but don’t fake your personality, and don’t feel like you need to change your hair to get a date. Also, make sure that you’re actually flirting, and not just coming off as polite lol
So I may be missing something here, but what specifically do you want?
Do you want the equally dorky bf or do you want the hot guys at the bar?
Do you want to find love/dating on your own or have the perfect guy come to you?
Do you wanna be that fun popular bar girl or do you wanna be Sansa Stark talking about dinosaurs?
Becky, go post on r/truerateme find you you are a 4 out of 10 then look at other men that rated 4 out 10 on there.
>Despite all this (things the media has told me my whole life is what is desirable) I’m never approached by men
Your first mistake is conforming to what the media says is desirable. At this point we know the media engages in some high level behavior conditioning. Its not necessarily real life.
> I’ve been to bars dressed to impress (but in a classy way) and i’ve never been danced with or had a drink bought for me, which seems to be how we measure the successfulness of a night out.
This is how a robot would process a night out. Who cares how its measured if you’re having fun? I think you’re missing the big picture.
>I’m not even approached on dating apps all that much, and when I do meet interesting people they ghost. I’m trying not to let it damage my self esteem but it’s getting frustrating.
Not everybody is good on dating apps. Some people suck and they lose confidence because of it. People think they get « ghosted » when in reality, they other person just wasnt interested. Its less about ghosting and more about having chemistry or not. So for these people you think are interesting…they dont reciprocate that feeling…thus the ghosting.
>I’m admittedly not very cool and kinda dorky, I’m more interested in dinosaurs and rocks than the Toronto Raptors and drinking flat whites (or whatever the kids are int0 these days).
Ok, so this is the direction you want to go in. Don’t try to be somebody you are not. When you do things because society tells you its « normal, » you still have to figure out how to be yourself. If you arent, things dont go very well.
You need to focus on what you want and what you like, and go in that direction rather than just try to do what the kids do these days. You know what I mean?
Time to adjust your strategy. Do more shit you want to do, and conform less to societal norms. You’ll be happier.
Hey, if were both single by 27, i will marry you.
Maybe guys feel intimidated and don’t want high maintenance(not saying you are). Anything giving off that vibe?
>I’m not even approached on dating apps all that much
bullshit. A fat ugly hairy woman with a pigs nose can get plenty of dates online. [https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=168948903&page=1](https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=168948903&page=1)
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you keep chasing men out of your league and then are shocked when they ghost. Also why do you expect the man to make the approach, you can do that yourself. dont be sexist