Dating : Pro Tip: Never date an emotionally unavailable person.
Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way recently.
Long story short: I met this wonderful woman (or so I thought) and we dated for a little over a couple of months. During that time, I ignored the red flags, let my guard down, and eventually got dumped. It’s hurts like hell because deep down I thought that if I sticked around long enough and showed her that she could trust me, then she’d feel the same way about me. Boy was I wrong.
I saw the signs way beforehand though. She never told me that she missed me. There were a couple of times where we had not seen each other for a couple of weeks and it didn’t seem to bother her much. She rarely (if ever) initiated anything (i.e. dates, kissing, hand-holding, etc.), and it always seemed like she had other priorities in life. In hindsight, it’s obvious that this was doomed to fail, but at that time it was tricky because she did *just enough* to suggest that she wanted to make things work. For example, if I proposed a date and it didn’t work with her schedule, she’d suggest an alternative date. In other words, the signs aren’t so obvious (especially when you’re not thinking objectively). However, with that said, there is usually that gut feeling that everyone needs to listen to. I only wish that I had listened to mine.
My tip is this: Go online and research some of the common signs of an emotionally unavailable person. It’s funny because I did that and I was able to check off nearly every single check box for her. If you’re seeing any of these red flags, then RUN!!!!! I’m serious… You may see it as a challenge – to win the person over, but that rarely works. Don’t BS yourself. You’ll say « Oh, I’ll just stick around and see what happens. I’ll just see her casually ». But unless you’re only interested in a FWB, then you’ll only hurt yourself in the end. It’s pointless because the person will never change, unless they have a level of self emotional awareness and they’re actively taking steps to fix themselves. Even then, there’s no guarantees.
TLDR: Learn to recognize the signs of an emotionally unavailable person, and DON’T DATE AN EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PERSON!!!